The Lies We Tell Read online

  “Not bad. No concussion. Just a knot.”

  He ran a hand down his face, and I noticed how weary he looked. The impact of the stress was more and more evident the longer I was there. I needed to let him be for a while.

  “I’ll go, Chase. I didn’t want to upset you. I just wanted to see you, for some reason. And this was my first chance. Sorry I didn’t tell you about Kace.” Which was another lie, I wasn't sorry. I was just sorry I got caught. If I was really sorry, I would have told him the whole truth.

  I was starting to care about Chase on an intimately deep level, but I wasn't quite ready for that conversation. And not because he would get mad, but because I was too scared it would change things between us. Despite how much we shouldn’t have been doing any of the things we were doing, I didn’t want it to stop.

  “Don’t go,” he whispered and raised his head to look at me. “Sorry I overreacted about Kace. I think I was…am…was… am….” he sighed, not sure if he wanted to finish his thought. But he did, “jealous.”

  I smiled a little, his admission causing warmth to spread through me. Jealous?

  I didn't think jealousy was supposed to an attractive quality, but we would just have to file it away with the forearms and call it a day.

  “Can you help me keep that a secret?” I asked, referring to Kace. "I don't even want him knowing you know. I want nothing more than to go back to pretending I have no idea who Kace Jackson is."

  Chase smirked and nodded, “I will lie through my teeth, Princess.”

  My relief must have been written all over my face.

  “Come ‘ere,” he said and pulled me into his arms. He hugged me and kissed my bump again. This time with less subtlety than he did in Gary’s office. I laid my cheek on his bare chest and soaked in his warmth.

  “I bet that carrot cake was good,” I finally said. I could feel his chest move as he laughed at my comment.

  “I will order another one,” he said but didn't move.

  “How’s your knee?”

  “It’s ok, maybe two nights off of PT is just what it needed.”

  Gary told me to take all the time off I needed to heal. I think as far as my head was concerned; I was fine. It was pride that took a little bit of a hit. Here I was again, Becca the Problem Causer. I was worried about facing everyone again.

  “I don’t know when I will be back, maybe in a few days,” I told him.

  He held on tighter to me and rubbed my back up and down. “Yeah Princess, you take all the time you need. I can probably handle the workouts alone at this point anyway.”

  I pulled away slightly and looked up at him. “I really do need to go, I am starving. I almost forgot how to feed myself since you’ve been providing my meals every night.”

  “I can order something here, just stay for a bit, please," he begged.

  Let me take a minute and go ahead and add begging to my new made-up list of unusual things I find sexy these days. Forearms, jealousy, and begging.

  “Ok,” I smiled, swooning over his 'please' and realizing I could have at least pretended to think about it for a minute. But I really didn't want to go.

  He gave me one last squeeze and backed away from our hug. Pressing a button on the phone, he quickly ordered me room service.

  “Can I get a hamburger, medium, no cheese, no pickles, no onions with seasoned fries, and vitamin water?” I was not surprised he knew exactly what I wanted. He had brought us burgers one night to the stadium and we spent several minutes hashing out the intricacies of the perfect burger. “Can you add a carrot cake to that please?” ….. “Great thanks.”

  I sat down on the bed, looking over at the mess of the original carrot cake. I think I found that sexy, too. Good God, someone was going to have to save me soon.

  Chase sat beside me on the bed and rubbed his thumb gently across the bump on my head again. I could see, in his eyes, the guilt he had for what happened. I grabbed his hand and held it, bringing it down for me to hold.

  “It isn’t your fault,” I whispered.

  He sneered a little, but I didn’t let go of his hand or let him turn away from me. “I made you a target.”

  “No, they made me a target,” I said. “You know what hurts worse than the knot? The fact that those women couldn’t see another woman working in a man’s world and root for her. Cheer her on. Why do other women not empower one another more? Shouldn’t they have been proud that I was out there, kicking ass?”

  I knew my words were fluff. A pipe dream. Too many times, resentment and envy guided women to be mean to one another. This was just Exhibit A.

  “You are kicking ass, that’s for sure.”

  “I’m trying. But I am not being the person I thought I would be when I got here.”

  “And that is definitely my fault, right?”

  I was still holding onto his hand and looked up into his eyes, “Probably.”

  “I should probably regret that, huh?” He smiled, holding my eye contact.

  “Probably,” I repeated. I started to move in, deciding I was going to kiss him. I needed to kiss him.

  I didn’t make it very far, though. I moved in inches only to be stopped by a loud knock on the door.

  “Room Service.” That was fast, way too fast.

  I jolted back, coming to my senses. I couldn’t kiss Chase. I had crossed so many lines with him but kissing him would be a black hole I would never climb out of. I would be ruined for sure.

  Chase popped back too, standing and heading to the door. He carried my food into the room and placed the tray next to me on the bed.

  “Eat up, baby,” he whispered. “And don’t leave, don’t move.”

  I looked up to him, "Where are you going?"

  “I need to take a quick shower,” he explained.

  I nodded and watched him turn quickly to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

  It was late, and I was starving, but after two bites, I couldn’t eat anymore. I laid back on his pillow and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t have to worry about me leaving or even moving. There wasn’t anywhere else I wanted to be.

  Even if nothing could come of us, I wanted to stay here, with him, as long as I could.

  ◆◆◆

  I woke up saturated in warmth—the smell of soap and spice permeating my sleepiness. I nuzzled my nose into the wall in front of me, knowing it wasn’t exactly a wall but Chase.

  I was more content than I had ever been, with his arms wrapped around me and my face pressed to his rock-hard chest.

  Last night, while he was showering, I had fallen asleep. I woke up fleetingly to hear him cleaning the cake from the floor and window. He moved my tray of uneaten food to the table and climbed onto the bed beside me, pulling me into the crook of his body.

  I fell back to sleep quickly and happily. At some point, I must have turned to face him and cuddled into his body. All I could think was, this is what heaven must be like.

  I didn’t know what time it was now, but there was no light shining through the window, so I knew it was early. Which, for Chase and me, was right on time because we started our day extra early to ensure his knees were good to go.

  “Morning,” Chase said, his voice deep and raspy from sleep.

  “Morning,” I looked up at his face, praying my morning breath didn’t kill him. “You ready to get to work?”

  He buried his head back onto mine and squeezed me tighter, moaning, “Nooooo.”

  I giggled a little, wishing we didn’t have to move and burrowed my cheek back into his chest. We laid still for several more minutes and if it wasn’t for hearing his erratic heartbeat, I would have thought he fell back to sleep.

  My arms were curled in between us, and I softly started brushing my fingers along his chest, testing both of our willpower further. His stuttering breath was the only indication he gave me that he was affected, staying still and quiet. I couldn’t see his face, but I imagined his eyes were closed, as were mine, soaking everything in.

&nb
sp; When I stopped moving my fingers, it was the break he needed to find the power to pull away. He took a deep breath and kissed the top of my head before getting up.

  “I gotta stretch,” was all he said before he disappeared for a minute, never looking back at me.

  He was only gone a few minutes and returned fully clothed and ready. Nothing seemed off, he was his normal self. But sleeping in his arms, in his bed, didn’t make me feel like normal was the way it should have been. I embraced it, though, and got through the stretching routine as best as I could before returning to my room to get ready for the day.

  I wasn’t even sure I was going to work today. I wanted to take Gary up on his offer to take some time off. But I also didn’t want the other interns to pull ahead in the race for a permanent position. Any more ahead than they already were, that is. Because I doubt after yesterday, the team wanted me anywhere near these guys.

  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  Chapter 16

  Becca

  I ended up deciding to show my face at the stadium. The welt on my head was the only physical indication that anything had even happened. So, all I had to do was woman-up and power through the mental anguish that hung out in the back of my mind.

  The first thing I did was a check-in with Gary. He didn’t even know I was at the stadium, so I surprised him when I knocked on his office door that morning.

  “Becca, good God, what are you doing here?” He said as he looked up from some paperwork on his desk to see me standing in the doorway.

  “Here to work, Gary. This little bump won’t keep me from wanting to be here.”

  He whistled as he looked at the “little” bump. “Looks pretty rough, you sure you don’t need a few days?”

  “It looks rough, but I feel fine. I just wanted to let you know I was here before I got to work.” I started to turn and leave but he stopped me.

  “Wait. Actually, there is something I need to talk to you about.”

  Immediately, I assumed he figured out how big of a liar I had become—it’s the first thing I always thought of. As the lies accumulated, I got more and more panicky every time Gary needed to “talk.” I just didn’t know which lie he was going to nail me on. Some I would survive, others I wouldn’t.

  “Yeah?” I asked, turning back and trying to sound casual.

  “It’s kind of about Fernandez,” he started. I turned white, an apology on the tip of my tongue. I planned to apologize and beg for forgiveness. But he kept talking before I could. “We were very impressed that you caught on to the fluid he carried on that knee. Even more impressed that you didn’t let his temper tantrum deter you from doing what was right.”

  What? Was he serious?

  “We are losing two catchers today. It’s just that part of spring training where the lower guys get cut.” It had been two weeks and the league made teams start narrowing their rosters down. This allowed more focus and playing time for the ones that needed it most. Still, I was sad about losing two of the guys I had been working with.

  Unless one of them was Manny and then I would be ok. But, of course, I am not that lucky because Manny was a backup that stayed with the team. Ugh.

  “Ok, so you want me to spend more time with the four that are still here?”

  “Well, there’s more. Jason, one of the other interns, is also being sent home.” What?? My eyes were huge from disbelief. Was that normal? I didn’t know I could be “cut” like the players were. “He was involved in some misconduct. We have rules and regulations. He broke them so he was sent home. We have too many people vying for positions to tolerate disrespect for the rules.”

  “Right, of course,” I said, nodding in disbelief and guilt. I wondered if Jason broke as many rules as I had. I wondered how long it would be until I got caught, too.

  “So, we were prepared for you to take a few days off, but if you think you’re ready, we need to add a few players to your workload.”

  “Yes, that is no problem, Gary.” And it wasn’t. This was a relief. “I won’t be taking any time off, though. Let me know what you need, and I will get started.”

  “Well, since you’re losing two catchers, I am going to give you two pitchers. And because we have been so impressed with your work, I am giving you our number one and number two pitchers.”

  Oh wow. This was a big deal. Pitchers were the cream of the PT crop. They battled just as many injuries as anyone else, but their minute injuries could affect so much when it came to their performance. The number one was Ethan Jones. Number two was Eddie Banks, someone I had yet to even talk to but knew he was a good pitcher and seemed like a great guy.

  “I can handle that, no problem. I will go talk to them this morning.”

  “One more thing. Since you’re going to be here, Jones pitches today and has been battling that blister between his fingers. I want you on the bench today for the game to keep an eye on it.”

  Ethan and that damn blister. Just yesterday, while I was helping Chase stretch, I told him he probably needed to skip his start today. He shrugged me off with a “yeah right.” Athletes were infuriating.

  I thanked Gary for the vote of confidence and promised to see him in the dugout later. Then he sent me away and mumbled something about having too much paperwork today.

  I headed straight to the locker room to find Ethan and Eddie. I didn’t usually come to the locker room first thing; the guys were always changing, and I focused better when I didn’t have to pray to the heavens to not see their junk. But I had every right to be there, and they knew a woman was on staff, so it was what it was.

  Walking in, the first thing I noticed was the empty lockers from the guys that had been sent home. It wasn’t just the two catchers, but infielders, outfielders, and a few pitchers as well.

  The second thing I noticed was Chase talking to Kace in the corner of the room. For crying out loud, please tell me they weren’t discussing knowing me. Kace didn’t know I was close enough to Chase to tell him the truth—or as it actually happened, get busted because Chase was coming to my room.

  And Chase swore he would play dumb and not tell Kace he knew so that I could keep going about my business as normal. Plus, I didn’t want him to figure the Cam part out.

  The lies were mounting, they were everywhere. They were getting complicated.

  They both looked up at me at the same time, so I froze. Both were smiling at me and Chase had a knowing smirk.

  Damnit.

  They walked away from one another, laughing, at what I assumed was me. I wanted to scream. They both promised me and now I needed to know which one broke that trust.

  But not right now. Right now, I needed to find Ethan and Eddie. I stomped past Chase without even looking at him. And let me say, it shows how mad I was to not even look because his shirt was off, and his baseball pants were hanging low on his waist without a belt on yet and Jesus he was hot.

  Ok, I looked.

  But just for a second and he didn’t even see me.

  When I got past him, I miraculously saw Ethan and Eddie together, their lockers right by one another. That made my mission easier so I could get the hell out of there quicker.

  “Hey, guys. Can I talk to you a minute?”

  They both looked my way and smiled. Eddie asked me about my head and Ethan mouthed, “Sorry.” I would tell him later I didn’t blame him, but right now, I stayed on track.

  “Head is good, I am fine. Look, I wanted to let you two know that I am taking over your training care. Jason was let go last night.”

  Their eyes bugged out of their heads at the Jason news, hell I was still wrapping my own head around it.

  “Ok, sounds good. We will let you know when we need anything,” Eddie said.

  “Yes, do that. Oh, and Ethan? I will be on the bench to keep an eye on that blister today, can you come to see me before you head out to warm up?”

  “Yes ma’am,” was all he said. Good. This seemed easier than I thought it would be. Both seemed good-natured and
ok with the change. Pitchers were sometimes the wariest of small changes but these two were easy. Whew.

  I turned to leave the locker room, but in my relief and haste, I didn’t look first and ran right into another wall. Not the Chase wall I woke up to this morning. Another wall.

  Cam. My fucking brother.

  He was here, in jeans and a t-shirt, hands coming out to steady me. “Oh, sorry ma’am, I didn’t see you.”

  I scowled at him without saying a word. If my calculations were correct, he had to have flown here overnight because when I Facetimed him and Ali, he was in his damn house. He told me he wouldn’t be here until next week.

  The frustration I felt at Chase, and maybe Kace, this morning was amplifying. Why was Cam here? Why was he doing this to me?

  I didn’t respond to his words, I just marched off and continued to the training room. I plowed through the door and slammed my hand on one of the plastic-covered tables, catching the attention of the guys around me--the remaining interns. At least I now knew these two weren’t named Jason.

  “You ok?” One of them asked.

  “Yep,” I answered shortly.

  “Guess you heard about Jason?” The other asked.

  “Yep,” I answered again, this time sounding like a bitch.

  Dang, Becca, get it together. Don’t alienate these guys.

  “Sorry,” I muttered, “It’s been a weird morning.”

  “Yeah, it’s been a weird couple of days for you,” they said, nodding at my head.

  I put my hand up to feel the knot, nodding my agreement. Thankfully my head covered up for my mood and I was able to get on with my morning. Everyone just thought I was mad about the knot.

  I managed to get two of the catcher's ankles wrapped and helped the guys with some paperwork before I had another shitshow to deal with.

  “Yo, Princess.” Chase was calling me from across the room. Not that I looked, but who else would call me Princess? Who else had such a sexy voice that my knees weakened when I heard it?

  I didn’t want to look up and acknowledge him, I was still mad about him maybe talking to Kace about knowing me. I know that sounded asinine and completely unfounded.